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Valentina, caricature by Arturo Yépez
VALENTINA'S MEWSINGS

More Mewsings by Valentina
By Valentina Rosebushes Ecstasy*

My mom wrote this and I like it, especially since I'm in it. Enjoy!

My Alphabet of Island Cats
 By Peggy Ann Bliss
 

 
The following is my Puerto Rican bilingual version of  “Common and Curious Cats” with text by Angelina Carter PAB 2007

 
Amneris Alley Cat is amorosa y adorable
 
She lives in Añasco
 
Where she actively eats arroz y (h)abichuelas
 

 
Bernabé Barsino is buttery, bungling and beautiful
 
He chases butterflies in Baranquitas
 
Where he belligerently bolts berenjena
 

 
Costanza Calico is cautious, craven and calculating
 
She lives in Castañer
 
Where she cunningly consumes carne
 

 
Delfina Devon Rex is delirious and devastating
 
She lives in Dorado
 
And daringly, but daintily, devours dátiles
 

 
E rnesto Egyptian Mao is ever so errant
 
He speaks Esperanto in Ensenada
 
And energetically eschews endives
 

 
Fela feline is furry, friendly and funny
 
She lives in Fajardo
 
And fussily eats fresas in fragante
 

 
Gregorio Gato is grouchy and groveling
 
He lives in Guayama
 
And grossly gobbles grama
 

 
Herminia is holy, heavenly and hearty,
 
And not a bit heavy
 
She lives in Hato Rey
 
Donde se harta de habichuelas con (h) arroz
 

 
Iñigo from Isla Verde
 
Is incorrigible and incoherent
 
And imbibes icacos ineptly
 

 
Jessica is jolly and jaundiced and even jocose
 
And wants to be a jockey
 
She joyously eats jalea in Jayuya.
 

 
Katrina Kitty  is kind and kinetic
 
She lives in karst country
 
And eats kiwis knowingly in the kitchen
 

 

 
Lulu is lovable, loony, but never lackluster
 
She lives in Lago dos Bocas
 
Where she laps lagartijas lazily
 

 
Mefistofeles is maddening
 
But never maudlin
 
He murders multitudes of mosquitos in Manatí
 

 
Nemesio is nerdy, but never naughty
 
He lives in Naguabo
 
And eats nabos and nísperos
 

 
Onofre is an optimist, but not overbearing
 
He lives in Orocovis
 
Where he eats ostras organically
 

 
Prudencio is pleasantly porcine
 
He lives in Patillas
 
And preys on pájaros purringly
 

 
Quinina is quick, not querulous
 
She lives in Quebradillas
 
And quaffs quimbombó and quenepas quizzically
 

 
Roosevelt is rough and ready
 
He lives in Rincón
 
And ravishes ratones ravenously
 

 
Salomé Siamese is sassy and serpentine
 
She lives in Salinas
 
And sucks salmon salaciously, but sullenly
 

 
Tabby Taíno is tolerant and tractable
 
He lives in Tras Talleres
 
And tenderly tastes tamarinds
 

 
Ubaldo is underfed and underfoot
 
He lives in Utuado
 
And unexpectedly eats uvas
 

 
Valentina is victorious and vain
 
And not at all valiant
 
She lives in Vieques
 
And vigorously eats vegetables
 

 
Winston is winsome, wide-eyed and wedded
 
He lives in Washington
 
And winningly eats whatchamacallits
 

 
Xavier is X aggeratedly x cellent, but xenophobic
 
He lives in the Hotel X celsior
 
And x statically eats scrambled X
 

 
Y olanda yawns, yowls and yaks, yes
 
She lives in Yauco
 
And eats yautía, yuk
 

 
Zenobia is zestful and zealous
 
She lives in el zaguan,
 
Where she eats zanahorias
 
And enjoys the island’s zeitgeist
 
‘Zat’s all.
 


A tale of two kitties; cats saving lives
By Valentina Rosebushes Ecstasy*

Cats can do a lot more than sit around and sleep. When they have to, they have saved lives, of their human companions, of their animal buddies, and their own offspring. And while a cat has never performed open heart surgery or driven an ambulance, they are CAT-alysts on many trips between life and death.
 
This was proved by Carol Smith’s black cats back in 1992. She had adopted the straggly young mother and her kitten from the beach. The mother, Molly, became especially close to Carol, and would often wake her up in the night. When she awoke, her heart would be racing and her blood pressure and pulse soaring.
 
Carol went to the doctor, but even with medicine, she passed out during the day more than once. When she returned to consciousness, Molly was licking her nose to awaken her. Miss Minnie was more standoffish.
 
Molly began to sleep closer to Carol’s head at night, waking her by tickling her face with her whiskers. When a new medicine helped with her condition, Molly stopped waking her up. When Miss Minnie was about 5 years old, she too, started to wake Carol up, by walking all over her body. When she licked her face, it seemed to Carol that Molly had taught her.
 
One day after work, as Carol walked on the beach, her heart began to race and beat irregularly. She called a nurse friend who whisked her to the emergency room, where she was hooked up to a heart monitor. Nurses took over what the cats had done, waking Carol up when her heart began to race. Finally in 2003, a doctor figured out that her heart was stopping for eight seconds at a time several times a night. The cats had been waking her up like pacemakers! And until the doctor implanted a monitor, they kept her alive.
 
When Carol started to slow down, the cats worried less. Molly also had the same heart condition, and died in her sleep very young. Carol was sad she hadn’t been able to get the same treatment for her as she did for herself.
 
A sickly young male cat also got his start in life from Molly, and he and Miss Minnie consoled each other when their mom died.
 
Since Carol had surgery, Miss Minnie doesn’t sit on her chest anymore.
 
And if that story wasn’t great enough, get this.  
 
In Columbus, Ohio, a cat dialed 911 when his guardian Gary Rosheisen fell out of his wheelchair. Police say a cat couldn’t have done it, but I say of course he could.
 
This guy, Gary, got Tommy three years ago to help him lower his blood pressure, and he did a lot more than that.
 
When the cops walked in, there was this orange striped cat lying by the telephone on the living room floor, where Gary always keeps it.
 
Police received a 911 call from the guy’s apartment, but there was no one on the phone. They called back to make sure everything was OK, and when no one answered, they decided to check things out.
 
Gary said he tried to train Tommy to call 911, but he wasn’t sure whether he learned. One of the 12 buttons is a speed dial for 911. Now Gary calls him his hero.
 
Atta boy, Tom.
 
*Pseudonym for Valentina Rosales Bliss